slowing down

so i was all excited two days ago when i got a package in the mail with a couple of new jilbabs-- funky and spunky and fiercely cute! so i rinsed them in the sink and hung them up on the shower curtain rod to work out the wrinkles they got in shipping and today was time for the debut of my favorite.

now i'm not my best at five AM, and i threw it on over a pair of (rebellious! against dress code!) jeans (that no one would see but that i would know about) and a cute tee shirt, pinned my scarf on and ran out the door. well, not ran, really-- the thing's too long. by the time i got to the hospital and tumbled out of the car to the wards, it was painfully obvious that i was tripping over my skirts no matter how i gathered it in my one free hand. it took another few tries to realize that the trick was speed-- i had to float (rather than scamper) through the day.

as an intern on wards, this is theoretically impossible, but somehow happened and-- i don't know how-- but i think it kind of got under my skin. all day long, it was like a little voice saying "slow down" and the more i tried to float the floatier i got. today i couldn't quite hit "cheerful" but i got and held on to "warm" and while i wasn't quite "patient" i was at least "long-suffering" rather than "annoyed and about to scream."

so maybe sometimes things that are getting in your way are trying to help...